I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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