Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
