I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
