He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
