plz talk dirty to me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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