i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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