he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
