I faked an abortion last night.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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