and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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