I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
