Its about making memories worth repressing
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize