At least make sure they are 18
Why
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
