You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
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I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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