I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
