this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
