awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
