Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You are the jesus of drinking
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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