I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
