Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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