"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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