Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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