u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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