yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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