I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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