just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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