hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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