Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
