Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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