atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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