the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
