it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
