Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize