i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize