My friends, they love my intelligence
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
