What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
