see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
