Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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