I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
