I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
