You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
