Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
