There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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