I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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