I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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