We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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