he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
