His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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