I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
