hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
