remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
