her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
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i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
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Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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