How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
