Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
