Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
