Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Even my vagina gasped.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My feet surprised me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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