I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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