I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
