dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
