I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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