absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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