Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
