You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I will pee on everything he values.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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