Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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