whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
