Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
