it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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