4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
