i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
